The Diet

In a word, The Diet sucks. I hate it. I’ve jumped on the band wagon and am trying to do the South Beach Diet. The first two weeks are supposed to be the hardest–no carbs (no bread, no pasta, no fruit, no sweets) and it’s rough. I am, quite frankly, going crazy. I would pretty much kill for an apple right now. Or some pasta or a piece of pizza…or whatever the heck I can find…I started a week ago. Or, more exactly, a week and 2 days. And I am ready to be done with this part of it. I hate it. I’m so hungry. I’ve been so hungry for a week. I thought I could do it. I think I can do it, but my will power is quickly fading. Even more quickly than I thought.

I just feel bad. Like sick, bad, if that makes sense. I know that a diet changes what you eat and i know it takes awhile for your body to acclimate to that, but still. I don’t think a person should feel this sick to their stomach and this out of sorts, all because of a diet. However, as someone who has struggled with her weight her whole life, I’m willing to try anything at least once, I guess. I did weight watchers for quite awhile. Did really well the first time, but then lost my motivation. I guess I want to be thin, but I also want to be happy. And, sometimes I wonder if losing the weight will make me happy or give me an eating disorder…or another eating disorder. 🙂 I think there are disorders other than anorexia and bulemia. I am obsessed with food. I don’t think I’ve had a meal in a year and a half where I haven’t felt guilty for something I ate. And, THAT can’t be healthy, can it?