She wasn’t the kind of person who broke easily
She wasn’t the kind of person who showed her heart
She’d been too open and had learned to wall off the world
She kept herself safe by keeping herself just outside
Outside the people who could hurt her
and outside the risks that might grow her – or destroy her
The mantra echoed inside her skull
As she once again held the tears at bay
And put on the brave and bold face of the unflappable
Bottle it up and keep it inside
Don’t break, don’t reveal what might make you seem weak
Don’t admit you hurt and don’t admit you need
Bottled up to the point of exploding
The slow release of pressure around the edges
Made the whole world stand on edge
The tears would fall and the pain would come
No matter how hard she fought against them
The bottle overflowed with unrealized emotion
The outside world called her brave
And called her strong and in control
But inside she knew it was all a lie of omission and exclusion
The real her was bottled up and keep it inside
Broken and weak and hurting and lonely
Her heart beat with unrealized need
Beautiful