A couple years ago, I wrote a post on what it looks like to be the “Easy Friend.” You can find that post here.
In that post, I talked about liking being the easy friend, and how it freed me up to love and live well – because we put enough pressure on things without adding pressure to friendships. And, I still agree with everything I wrote there.
But, lately, I’ve discovered the much more difficult side of being the easy friend. We’re easy to take advantage of and easy to hurt sometimes. See, as the easy friend, I often am not the person people turn to or reach out to. It’s just a given that I will be there, when they have time for me. And, when they don’t, it almost feels out of sight/out of mind. I know it’s not intentional, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. So please, handle those easy friendships in your life with care.
Don’t forget about us. I’m happy to be there in a crisis, but I’d love to be there when things are going great, too. We don’t need a lot, but we do need to feel like we’re not the only one making an effort.
Don’t make plans, and then forget. Or cancel. Repeatedly. Trust me, I get it. Life happens. But, when you constantly forget about me or cancel plans or don’t follow through on making plans, I feel like I don’t matter.
Be honest with us. One of the best things about easy friendships is that they require so little from both parties. But, when something does happen or life does get in the way, be honest. Don’t say you can’t do something and then blast your fun weekend on social media – it’s a slap in the face.
Take/Make time for us. We don’t expect a lot, but we still want to feel like a member of your circle. After a few weeks/months of being pushed aside, we will stop reaching out and trying.
We’ll be here when you need us. Sometimes being the easy friend means that we have zero contact with people for a long time. But, please remember that we will always be there for you when you need us, even if it seems like our friendship has been forgotten.